“A Moose Aboot The Hoose”
Above: Podger Ogilvy Innes III: known as Podge
Two legged Characters in this tail
Dame
Katrina Ogilvy, aka “Madam” : An opera singer with Caledonian Opera. Owner
of “The Mews”, Belgravia
Olga : Cook at “The Mews”, Belgravia (thought to be
one of the few surviving members of the
family of the last Tsar of Russia)
Effy
Ogilvy : Dame Katrina’s cousin and
Mistress of Auld Murdie Hoose
Ken Claymore: Chauffeur, Security and Effy Ogilvy's "right hand man" at Auld Murdie Hoose. Sworn to protect Katrina, Phoebe, Mags & Olga
Bella Grieve : Housekeeper & Cook at Auld Murdie Hoose
Four legged Characters in this tail
Mags Worthington : Ward of Dame
Katrina Ogilvy. Younger sister of Phoebe Worthington
Phoebe
Worthington : Ward of Dame Katrina Ogilvy. Older sister of Mags Worthington
Podger (Podge) Ogilvy Innes III : A brave, defiant mouse
Montgomery Ogilvy: A fearless
dragon who has lived in Lameside Loch for over 150 years ( pictured below).
Above : Montgomery Ogilvy
On the second night of their short holiday to Scotland at Auld Murdie Hoose ( owned by Effy Ogilvy), Phoebe and Mags Worthington settled down
in the bedroom of their mistress, Dame Katrina Ogilvy, an opera singer and Effy's beloved cousin.
Katrina and her girls had been allocated the ancient Lennox Rooms.
The Lennox Rooms at Auld Murdie Hoose
The rooms were large,
grandiose, full of sweet aromas of peat and heather, with an enormous four
poster bed and a huge chest with the armorial crest of the Ogilvies. A dressing
table of theatrical dimensions with many mirrors and an assortment of combs,
brushes, and jewellery strewn on it. There were bookcases stuffed with the
works of Katrina's favourite author, Caroline Du Barry
Family portraits of Dame Katrina’s late parents, Sir Hugh
Marmaduke Possum Ogilvy, a diplomat, and Lady Lily Tiger Ogilvy, who had been a
Macfarlane from the Island of Inchmurren, Loch Lomond.
She was always known as Cuddles. And pictures of little Kats Ogilvy (‘Kats’ was
Katrina’s nickname at school, too) from her childhood days.
From the Works of Barbara McClintock
The purr-fect works of the artist Barbara McClintock also adorned the walls, and
all sorts from a collection by Louis Wain that complemented others of feline
wonder on display at “The Mews”, Belgravia, Dame Katrina’s London home.
Long heavy drapes with the most elaborate of linings hung at the
windows looking out onto the dark Loch of
Lameside.
Mags couldn’t sleep well. She was disturbed by a sharp
scratching sound coming from under a tallboy.
A long black tail was detected.
Mags moved slowly towards it to explore, her cold nose
eventually clipping the tip of a curly tail.
A mouse turned and squealed.
“Hey, that tickled.”
Mags immediately apologised.
The mouse saw that Mags was a cat and disappeared into a crack
in the wall.
At “The Mews” Mags had a reputation as a relentless mooser. She
could hear their antics in the deepest of places, in thick walls and voids. If
there was a moose in the hoose, aloose, Mags would know it and track it down.
Mags heard further noises coming from the skirting boards but
without drawing any firm conclusions as to who or what was making the blooming
racket.
Mags knew instinctively that the tail that had disappeared into a
crevice earlier in the evening had belonged to a wee sleekit cowrin tim’rous
beastie .… a moose! Mags couldn’t settle until she had gathered more
intelligence.
Phoebe, Mags’ sister, stretched out like a Viking longboat. She
yawned and said she couldn’t be bothered with such nonsense, she was much too
old a dog (well, a cat) to learn any new tricks and happily announced she was
for 40 winks.
It was a few hours into
Mags’ mouse watch. She waited and waited and waited .… no sign or part of any
tail re-appeared.
The mouse population at Auld Murdie Hoose had lived there for as
long as the Ogilvies. There were three principal families of brown house mice:
the Innies, the Minnies and the Moes. Inter-breeding in the case of the Minnies
and Moes with a group of field mice called the Podgers had resulted in many of
the castle dwellers moving out into the fields and loch and down by the local
river.
The River Og flowed through the Ogilvy estates and its banks
were home to a collection of animals from rodents to rabbits and every kind of
bird, insect and waterfowl.
Auld Murdie Hoose once had rats. They nested for one season
only, when the cooling system in the kitchens failed and the Ice House thawed
out. Bella the Cook had spotted a single footprint on her kitchen floor. A
local ratter named Scottie Muldoon (his father was Irish, his mother a local
lassie) who was descended from a maternal family renowned for trapping Cumberland’s men in the ’45,
located the nest and mercilessly destroyed them as ruthlessly as if they had
been English redcoats. The mice were tolerated and they were very clever at
preserving their continuance.
The scratching became more distant.
Mags detected that the quaint noises were coming from the
Smoking Room, a place where only the gentlemen in the Ogilvy family and their male
guests were ever allowed to enter.
At that time of night even the insomniacs in the household had
gone to their repose.
Mags was determined to surprise the intruder, or intruders, in
the Smoking Room. So she lunged straight for the door, past a noble chair or
two, knocked over a clay pipe and hit her paw on a foot rest.
A little livid at her injury, Mags glimpsed ahead but couldn’t
believe her eyes:
Above: Mags Worthington and Podge
There in all his glory, with no fear of being apprehended, was
Podger Ogilvy Innies III, a delinquent member of the hoose moose gang known for
his prowess inside and outside of the Ogilvy homestead, a legend on the
Riverbank along with his motley cousins Rag, Tag and Bobtail, Minnie and
Pimlico Moe. Podger was a great progenitor, with numerous offspring across the
county and beyond.
“Are you the brave lassie who tried to take on oor Montgomery the ither
morning?” quizzed Podger.
“I’m Podger, but you can call me Podge.”
Mags was embarrassed and couldn’t speak. Instead she began to
take up a defence position that usually warned off any mouse at “The Mews” and
they rarely came back for more.
“Montgomery wants to see you again, he has a task for you”
quipped Podge. “He needs you to serve him at the ploughing match and Caledonian
Ball next Friday. You’ll be his spy.”
Mags gulped. “ A sp…?”
“Aye, this is a Hoose full of Spies” added Podge. “ All Hush!
Hush! Tonight, several big bad spy men will be in the company, with Ken
Claymore handing out assignments to them
as burdened as yours, my dear”.
Podge spotted that Mags’ paws were moving and her sharp nail
like claws growing and he belted off at the speed of light.
Mags regained her composure and returned to the Lennox Room.
Above: Mags Worthington
She smelled food cooking in the direction of the great kitchen.
She was aware that Bella the Cook was to serve her breakfast in the annexe to
the kitchen. Sure enough there were bountiful goodies laid out for her and
Phoebe: meats, fish and savouries. Dame Katrina’s own personal chef, Cook
(Olga), was also present and laid on some favourites from “The Mews”.
Mags began to eat. She had just finished drinking some milk when
Phoebe arrived.
Above: Phoebe Worthington
“Phoebe, darling, you gave me a turn there” squealed Mags.
“Sorry, Mags. I couldn’t sleep on.”
Phoebe yawned.
“Well, you sounded well gone to me” added Mags.
Phoebe asked about Mags’ watch.
“Did you catch any mice last night, then?”
Mags felt her reputation was at stake.
“I let them go, they were tiddlers.”
“Is Madam awake?” asked
Mags.
“ Yes, she’s stirring” said Phoebe, yawning again.
“Cook is preparing her breakfast, and Bella’s in a rage over
being snubbed.”
“I’ve had my breakfast. It’s a lovely day, I’m going out
exploring” announced Mags.
“Well, watch out for Montgomery”
teased Phoebe, adding “ you know, I
think I can hear him splashing on the Loch.”
Above: Auld Murdie Hoose and
Lameside Loch from the Canal
Tails of
Phoebe and Mags Worthington
Of “The Mews”, Belgravia
Two
Darn Cats
Invented by
William Cross, FSA Scot
With thanks to Louis Wain
ENQUIRIES
PLEASE E-MAIL WILLIAM CROSS
williecross@aol.com
